The Flames have three goals in three games, and it shows

Look, I've seen bad starts. I've watched Bruins teams blow a 3-1 series lead in their sleep. But the Calgary Flames have three goals in three games, and two of them needed the other team to go sit in the box first.

That's 0-3 and outscored 16-3, by our count, which is the kind of opening week that gets a professional organization described as a rebuilding project. Seattle beat them 6-1 in Calgary on Thursday, and Vancouver beat them 4-1 on Saturday.

Then Seattle did 6-1 again on Sunday, like a cover band playing the hit twice because the crowd missed it the first time. Grade: F. I'd go lower, but F-minus is reserved for Toronto.

The offense. Calgary has exactly one even-strength goal this season, which is a remarkable statistic for a team that employs professional forwards. Ryan Strome scored it late in the opener, with the Flames down 5-0 and the Kraken mentally on the bus.

Matt Coronato and Morgan Frost have the other two, both on the power play. Buddy, I'm begging you, somebody score five-on-five. It's legal. It's in the rulebook.

Kept off the sheet. Mikael Backlund has nine shots, no points and 17 minutes a night. That's not a slump. That's a guy tossing pennies into a fountain.

Kevin Bahl, Zach Whitecloud and Simon Nemec each play about 21 minutes a game, per NHL data. That's 63 minutes of blue line every night, and the three of them have zero points. My mailman touches the puck more, and he doesn't skate.

The goalie. Dustin Wolf has stopped 47 of 59 shots in two starts, a .797 save percentage by our count. I'm not hanging that on him.

On Sunday the Flames outshot Seattle 33-27 and still gave up six, because nobody in red could find Mackie Samoskevich, who scored twice. Wolf spent the night dealing with traffic and point-blank chances like a guy guarding a door with no hinges.

Fight of the week, Calgary edition. Adam Klapka dropped the gloves with Luke Schenn 2:55 into Saturday's game in Vancouver. He added two 10-minute misconducts before the night was over.

That's 25 penalty minutes in about eight minutes of ice time. Klapka looked at the scoreboard and decided the box had better seats. I can't say I blame him.

Not a real award. The Lifetime Achievement Award for Shot Volume goes to Calgary, which put 33 pucks on Joey Daccord on Sunday and has a goal differential that looks like a ZIP code. Seattle's goalie stopped 32 of them. The other one came on a power play, naturally.

The one bright spot is Zayne Parekh, who has an assist, seven shots and the only pulse on the back end. That's the concession. It's short.

What's next. Colorado comes to town Thursday. The Avalanche are 2-0, plus-nine, and scoring on 44.4 percent of their power plays, per NHL data. Calgary's plan should be simple: stay disciplined, generate one legitimate even-strength goal, and maybe don't let Klapka read the standings before warmups.

Three games, three losses, one even-strength goal. I said what I said.