Colorado is scoring like it's 1993, and Calgary is paying for it

Look, ten days of hockey proves absolutely nothing, and I'm going to overreact to every minute of it anyway. That's the job, and the job comes with a dental plan.

1. The Avalanche are scoring like it's 1993.

Colorado has 23 goals in four games. Nobody has opened a season that hot since the 1993-94 Kings, back when Gretzky had the puck and Barry Melrose had the hair. That Kings team finished 27-45-12, so the Avalanche have a fun little historical curse to dodge.

Thursday it was seven on Calgary. Devon Toews had zero goals in his first three games, per NHL data, then scored two. Cale Makar and Jaden Schwartz added two each, and MacKinnon leads the team with eight points.

The penalty kill hasn't allowed a goal yet either, which in my experience means it's due. Grade: A. Fine, A-minus. I'm not handing out the full A until Halloween.

2. Calgary is the exact opposite.

The Flames are 0-4. They've scored six and allowed 23, which is the same number Colorado scored. Nobody in Calgary requested that kind of mathematical symmetry. They've already lost to Seattle 6-1 twice. That's not a rivalry anymore. That's a monthly subscription.

Dustin Wolf is at .797 and Devin Cooley is at .818, per NHL data. Buddy, I'm begging you, somebody in front of them block a shot, because the goaltenders didn't give up 23 by themselves. Grade: F. The F-minus is reserved for Toronto, which brings us to number three.

3. The Leafs blew a 3-0 lead in Vegas.

Great. Tremendous. They took a three-goal lead into a city built on separating people from their money, and they lost it in a shootout. It was 3-0 eight minutes in and 3-3 before the second period was four minutes old. The Toronto Maple Leafs would like you to know they have won the first period. Parade route to follow.

Jake McCabe, Troy Stecher and Oliver Ekman-Larsson have zero points between them through five games. That's half the defensive group on a cleanse. Grade: F-minus.

4. Evan Bouchard is your Norris winner. Book it.

Six goals in four games from the back end, including a hat trick in the opener, while averaging 25.1 minutes a night, per NHL data. I don't want to hear it. He's one of the best players in the league right now, and yes, I'm aware it's October.

The Oilers also beat Vancouver 9-7, a final score you usually see in the AFC East. And they kill penalties at 64.3 percent, per NHL data. That's less a penalty kill and more a polite, professionally worded suggestion. Grade: A for Bouchard. C for everybody standing in front of the Oilers' net on the kill.

5. The Flyers couldn't find the net with a satellite navigation system.

Philadelphia is 0-3-2 with six goals in five games, and the season opened with a 7-0 loss to Pittsburgh. Cam York and Jamie Drysdale play 21.8 and 20.8 minutes a night and have zero points between them. That's more than 40 minutes of blue line a night, and the scoresheet still looks like a blank check. Grade: D.

Kept off the sheet: Marcus Pettersson, 20.4 minutes a night, zero points, and the Rangers are 4-1 anyway, which is the most Rangers thing that could happen. Jordan Staal, zero in five on 15.8 minutes, and Carolina is 3-1-1 regardless.

The Florida bit: the Panthers' power play is 1-for-23, per NHL data. With two of their best forwards out, it's running on whatever's left in the tank. Pabs will tell you it turns around, and he's probably right, but I'm just reading the number off the scoreboard.

Not a real award: The Same Time Next Week Trophy for Losing to the Same Team by the Identical Score Twice goes to Calgary. Seattle 6-1, Seattle 6-1. At least they're consistent, which is apparently the organization's only available strength.

Ask me again on Halloween, when I'll have a completely different set of overreactions ready to go. I said what I said.